so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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