If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize