I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
