Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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