If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
