Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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