I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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