Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
