I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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