So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
