Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Randomize
