To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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