I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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