Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
