Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
