No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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