My hand turned me down
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
