I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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