I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
