Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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