Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
