Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
