If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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