someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
