I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
