Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
North Korea, Best Korea!
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
