I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
