Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
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