The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Randomize
