i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
