question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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