I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
