So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize
