The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize