what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
