Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
