My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
