I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
