Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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