i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
