I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We don't watch enough power rangers
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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