I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
