You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
