Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
