I must be too annoying 4 u.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize