Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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