can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize