Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
