After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
