The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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