i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I lost the right to judge tonight
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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