My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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