Will you blow on my dice?
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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